Out of Breath
by ModernDivine
Summary: "When we are in the afterlife, I just wonder, whose hand you will decide to hold?" Note: Old adorbes NaruSaku! (3.30.13 re-vis)


Breathe Again

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe  
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something  
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again  
I'll breathe again

—"Breathe Again", Sara Bareilles

* * *

A/N: I swore to myself up and down that once I caught up to Shippuden (anime), I wouldn't break out into the psychopath I am, but I clearly have zero—and I mean NADA self control. Though the anime is 300+eps in, my thoughts on 278 were: _Bitch please…._ OH WELL. I REGRET NOTHING. _NOTHING_

-_Important_, I have co-wrote with the author of _It was Always You_..Thanks 'luv'! Our inspiration came from LadyGT's NaruSaku gallery from devianART

* * *

The only thing that had changed about Naruto since the last time she'd seen him was his hair. It was white now. Of course, she could still make out the yellow thin strands. But, they faired with age.

He was bundled up in the corner of her patio, covered in blankets from head to toe. He was shuddering.

"Honestly, Naruto, it isn't _that _cold," she said, amused.

"Speak for yourself," he smirked, his eyes creasing in the old familiar way as he did, and suddenly he was sixteen, not eighty-six.

Sakura snorted and then let out a chuckle. She stood up from where she had been crouched over a pot and then handed her old friend a bowl of ramen. He accepted it, nodded once in thanks, and then tipped the hot contents into his mouth.

After they finished their meal they sat in silence for a long time.

Naruto finally placed his now empty bowl on the floor before looking up at her. Their gazes met and he sighed. "We have to talk."

She nodded in agreement. They'd been needed to talk for quite some time now.

* * *

_All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one  
Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns_

* * *

Naruto got married first.

It wasn't a surprise to everyone, but no more than it surprised Sakura. She had been nineteen; impatiently waiting for her Hokage to turn the same age so they could become proper drinking buddies and booze the nights away as a boast to their newly reconstructed village and a toast to Sasuke's return. Now that the war had been long over, her overly-eager best friend, Ino, had been playing matchmaker. When Sasuke had finally returned back to Konoha, that feeling had been concluded. The young man who had faced her had been a total stranger; albeit with traces of her twelve year old former team-mate, which had been the driving factor that she and Naruto had held on, slowly rebuilt their bond of friendship with him. It had been liberating to learn that she had indeed got over her childhood crush on the boy. And despite her mortification and annoyance, Sakura had been slipping off into nightclubs with Ino as a means of regaining her inner womanhood.

So when Naruto announced his own engagement and then got married four months later, Sakura had felt downcast. She was disturbed for reasons she couldn't put a finger on. Perhaps she was just worried that the woman in title of her nobility Naruto had chosen to marry wasn't good enough for him.

That must've been it.

She watched her friend say his vows while cloaked in white.

The after party was quite a sight. Gai and Kakashi both drank too much wine and spent the majority of the evening telling jokes and singing songs to the large crowd of people they had gathered around them. They were the evening's unpaid entertainment.

Then there was the dancing. Naruto was light on his feet despite his drunken state but after a while he let go of his newly wed's hand and trotted off to make sure that his best friend danced with someone, despite the fact that she'd refused every other offer.

From a tap on her shoulder green eyes met with blue eyes. She turned around and then smiled at him. "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

He shrugged one shoulder, clearly out of place in all his fine traditional wedding attire. "I can't wait to take it all off," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm sure your new wife would be happy to help in that regard," Sakura said, quickly taking a sip of wine in order to hide her mischievous grin.

Naruto turned beet red and then gulped. "I suppose I walked right into that one."

Sakura giggled before he held out a hand as an invitation to her.

"Come on, let's dance!"

She shook her head. "I've already danced."

Naruto grinned, all knowing that she hadn't gotten up from her seat since the last shot from a visit to the bar, and nudged her in the shoulder playfully.

"Yeah, with your sake."

He batted his lashes at her. "Please? I am the Hokage after all."

"No—"

"Pretty please? With extra beef and hot rice and—"

"Fine."

To his bewilderment, she grabbed his hand and yanked him out onto the dance floor. She put her hand on his shoulder and he gave her the evil eye until she placed his hand onto her hip. Naruto soon came to the realization that Sakura was, in fact, rather clumsy as she had them back into a railing by the foot of the stairs. By Kami, how did they even stumble that far near the entrance? She stepped on his feet three times before he suggested that they just sway in place. That seemed easier.

"Sorry," she mumbled in embarrassment. "This is why I don't like to dance."

"That's all right, Sakura-chan. I'll always catch you. I don't care if you're a good dancer or not. I love you either way."

She knew he had meant for it to sound comical and platonic, but something still twinkled in Naruto's cerulean eyes as his words rang in her ears. Something boyish and hopeful that belonged entirely to her—

_Wait…where had that come from?_

It would take her a long time to understand what that twinkle meant.

Suddenly Sakura felt flustered. They were close, too close, and even though no one was watching she felt as if a thousand eyes were upon her.

She stepped back, breaking out of his grip, before giving him a forced smile. "Thank you, Hokage-sama, for that lovely dance. I'm going to go find the others and I believe you have a new bride to attend to?"

The twinkle in his eyes disappeared and he looked confused. But he nodded slowly in acceptance.

Sakura shoved her way towards the bar. The music was strange and her feet felt heavy, and the way Naruto had lead her throughout the dance made her feel like she was going the opposite direction of everyone else, and it wasn't just the fact that they'd literally twirled to the opposite side of the room past the dance floor. She needed another drink.

"At least we're finally able to spend time with everyone, you know."

"Hn."

As the bartender prepared her drink, Sakura shifted her glance to her right and realized Sasuke and Sai standing next to her.

"Oh, how long have you two been standing there?" Sakura pointed at them as the bartender handed her drink.

"Long enough to see you sneak your way into the arms of our Hokage," Sai said in a very nonchalant tone as the pink-haired kunoichi tensed under his statement, "not to mention a very much _betrothed_ Hokage."

Sakura glared at Sasuke, who didn't bother to acknowledge her presence, better to avoid her temper. She sighed.

"Now hold on just a minute. What the hell are you—"

"Yeah, Forehead, you better not turn into a homewrecker once the night's over!"

Sakura glared as Ino joined them, followed by Ten-Ten and Hinata. Greeting the girls, and murmuring an excuse, Sai quickly eclipsed away with Sasuke in tow.

"Still uncomfortable around girls, aren't they?" Ten-Ten remarked.

Sakura gritted ruefully. "Well, Sasuke-kun has never been a social butterfly."

She could see Sai now talking with Shikamaru, Sasuke and Kakashi into a corner. Through the crowd, as Lee twirled towards them without purpose or reason, she thought she caught sight of a pair of smoldering blue eyes in midst the hordes of white and black all around her. Something warm dropped into her stomach, and she tried very hard to shove it aside.

"Seems as though you finally managed to let go of that best friend of yours, haven't you?" Ino teased Sakura.

"Well, I had to clearly stake my claim on him while dancing," Sakura replied rather quickly, ignoring the heat gathering at the nape of her neck. But, their sight was now on the fair-haired beauty across the room who was now calling out to her husband.

"She is quite something, isn't she?" Ten-Ten whispered, looking across the room as yet another laugh from Naruto's bride tinkled out.

"Yes, she is very beautiful," agreed Hinata quietly.

Sakura looked at the Hyuuga girl, who looked stunning in a floor length lilac dress, her lustrous black hair shining down her back, the perfect, white skin enhanced by the hue of her dress. She could only marveled at how calm and collected Hinata looked, every inch the classy, beautiful and poised princess that she was, kindness and gentleness oozing out of her.

"Hinata, you are even more beautiful!" she whispered almost vehemently.

Hinata looked at her in surprise, while a faint blush crept up her cheeks. "Thank you, Sakura," she murmured, smiling shyly. "You look beautiful too." Her eyes held a knowing expression which Sakura could not understand, but before she could ponder on it, Tsunade came to join their group.

"Quite a party, huh?" the former Godaime smiled cheerfully, a glass of sake in hand. The others nodded. "We managed to get the Daimyo to contribute to it," she said, with a devious smile.

Sakura shook her head. She'd better not ask how her Shishou had done that.

"What do you think of the girl?" Tsunade asked Sakura abruptly, in a low voice that the others could not hear.

"Huh? The girl?" stuttered Sakura, taken by surprise.

Tsunade pointed her chin towards Naruto's bride.

"The Daimyo's daughter," she said, watching Sakura closely.

_Why this question? _

"She's ok," she forced out after a pause. What else could she say?

Tsunade looked satisfied, "Hmmm."

Before Sakura could query why the question, the older woman had waved cheerily and moved off to another group, leaving Sakura perplexed.

Sakura was quiet while the others continued with their chatter. She felt unsettled by the conflicting emotions running through her. As his best friend, she should have been ecstatic that Naruto was receiving such high-class marriage proposals. She had been prepared that such a day will arrive that he would have a girlfriend, a fiancée or a wife, and she had made the resolve to be happy for him when such a day would come. So when the day came that he had proposed a clench in her stomach took her by surprise.

Furthermore, there was Hinata. She looked at the beautiful Hyuuga again. She had grown out of her shy stuttering, and turned into an even more stunningly beautiful young woman. If there was someone who had been highest on the list of deserving Naruto, it had been Hinata. The girl was perfect in every sense; she had always loved Naruto, and had never ever been nasty to him. Sakura had never asked Naruto about his feelings for Hinata; it was subject she had difficulty in approaching, and felt that it was up to Naruto to discuss it with her if he wanted to. But she had been sort of expecting that something would build up between the two. Now, out from nowhere, a Daimyo's daughter just entered in the picture.

Catching Ino's eyes on her, Sakura hastily forced a smile and dragged her attention back to the conversation.

She just very much cared for her best friend.

That must've been it.

A while later Sakura strolled out on the terrace, with the slight cooling breeze fluttering on her face. She stood on her tip toes against the rail to reach out to the velvet night. Just when she disappeared from the flock of figures' passionate embraces, and the stinging sensation grew stronger, she needed to leave.

"Here you are, I was wondering where you've disappeared to."

Sakura jumped and wheeled around, as the one of her thoughts walked through the large sliding doors. She nearly lost her footing when Naruto bore a wide grin as he moved besides her to hold her steady,

_And you call yourself a proud kunoichi…_

"Told you I'd be here to catch you."

She looked at him. Really looked at him. His eyes looked playful then, but what she thought was amusing in the tenor of his voice, thought to hold a deeper meaning as well. She mentally slapped herself from idea.

He looked cut in the traditional kimono, the draped garment suggesting rather than showing his powerful physique, the navy color making his eyes appearing darker, more mysterious. She swallowed.

"What's wrong with Hinata?" she blurted, a little more belligerently than she intended.

"Huh? What's wrong with Hinata?" Eyebrows slammed in a frown, he immediately straightened himself and looked with urgent concern towards the inside of hall, where Hinata had been earlier.

"No! Nothing has happened to her," she said hastily, and he turned back to look at her, puzzled.

"I meant, if you were so bent on marrying into nobility, why didn't you choose Hinata?"

His eyes widened in surprise.

Before he could say anything, she hurried on, "She has always loved you, from far back when all of us used to look down on you. She has always treated you right. She's very beautiful, kind, sweet, strong, perfect, and she did not think one minute about sacrificing herself for you during the Pain battle…So, why?"

Sakura felt she was trespassing onto dangerous territory, but she could not stop herself. She had never dared ask him the question. But they were best friends, surely she could ask? And she wanted to know.

Remorse was apparent on his face as he looked down at his feet. After a long silence during which Sakura quivered in uncertainty, feeling that she had indeed cross a boundary, he looked up at her, eyes guarded.

"I don't lie to myself, Sakura," he said softly, face serious.

Her breath hitched silently. Those words…they evoked some painful memories.

"Hinata…I'm really very honored that a girl like Hinata has such feelings for me," he said in a low voice. "And I truly regret that I can't give her what she wants."

Sakura watched him, unable to say anything.

"I'm not in love with her," he continued. "I have high respect for her, for the person she is, but I don't love her that way. It would be unfair to both of us if I get with her, feeling the way I do. It would be out of obligation, and she deserves much better than that."

She opened her mouth; then closed it again, not knowing what to say.

"She was hurt when I told her years ago, but she understood and accepted my decision," he said.

Sakura was surprised. She had never known that he had such a talk with Hinata. A heavy silence descended between them. She did not know what to make of all this; and she dared not probe deeper. She suddenly felt vulnerable, her stomach churning. Was it too late to question? Not liking the feeling, she went into her defensive mode, and glared at him.

"So, are you trying to say that you are in love _with_ her?" she almost snapped, pointing her chin towards the Daimyo's daughter.

The heavy atmosphere immediately dissipated at her waspish tone.

_Why the hell didn't I hold my tongue?_ She thought desperately, regretting her lack of control. The silence stretched, as he continued to watch her in disbelief.

"Are you jealous, Sakura-chan?"

There.

Her eyes widened. "…What?" she sputtered, her eyes widening.

He did not reply, instead, watched her intently. The noise around them suddenly zoomed off. Her heart rate speeded up, her breath shaky. She heard his sharp intake of breath, as if he knew, if he dared to question again. She swallowed nervously, and his eyes moved to her throat, seeming equally entranced.

"Naruto?"

A voice echoed from inside the hall. Both of them froze.

"That's my..." Naruto whispered; there was almost reluctance in his tone towards the lack of endearment. "I should…"

"Yeah, you should see what she needs," Sakura pulled a tight expression, glancing away from the blond in front of her. It was beginning to get cold as she shivered against the ice.

"You wanna come with me?" Naruto's offer made the air colder. "She really likes you, Sakura, she likes talking to you…"

"Ah, no."

Something in her was screaming. "I can't…I…the hospital probably needs me...at this time."

_Liar_

She didn't even bother to question why it was important to establish this. She just needed to get out of here.

"Oh, right." He said instead. If he was disappointed, he didn't show it to her.

"Yeah. Say hi to her for me."

"I'll be sure to do that."

Sakura started off.

"I'll see you later then?"

"Probably."

"Great."

"Yeah. Tell her I said hello."

"I will. And Sakura?" He called after her. "Watch out for railings?"

"Why?" She teased, feeling almost herself again as she forced the cold away. "Won't you be there to catch me?"

Something flashed in his eyes and hers widened as she realized her mistake. Muttering some flimsy excuse she darted off in a random direction, desperate to get away and left Naruto standing in the cold night, staring after her.

* * *

_Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth  
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view_

* * *

Sakura had a child first.

When she turned twenty-one, she found it difficult to name her.

Ino recalled that the child's eyes were as blue as the sky.

She was the child of the one of the most talented shinobi of Konoha. One that the Godaime and the Rokudaime had ever seen; she was instantly adored.

Sakura remembered praying to Kami every day that she would grow up to be a strong and beautiful kunoichi.

When the child was two months old, Sakura was living in Sunagakure to help carry on the teachings of medical ninjutsu. They did have to pass on their knowledge to the next generation. That was when Sakura's husband decided that they should visit Konohagakure. They arrived during the winter with the air whipping about them and Sakura clutched her sobbing newborn to her chest. The child didn't like to be surrounded in the cold air. Sakura took this as a good sign.

Naruto and his wife walked out to meet them by the newly designed Hokage residence. Naruto's own wife was just starting to show; she was due in six months.

At dinner, Sakura tried to calm down her fussy daughter on multiple occasions, but the child wouldn't stop crying. Her husband had the rest of the table laughing and was currently sharing a story with Tsunade and Kakashi. He didn't even seem to notice how loud his daughter was being.

Sakura was exhausted, emotionally and physically. She ached to her bones and there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for one night of uninterrupted sleep.

Everyone around her was laughing, completely unconcerned, and why shouldn't they be? She was a mother now, caring for her child's well-being was her responsibility.

Sakura stood up so fast she knocked over her chair. "Sorry," she said, voice sharp, before she quickly exited the dining room.

She walked down the hallway, chest heaving, arms quivering, before finally leaning against a tapestry covered wall.

Tears streamed down her cheeks and she found that she had no desire to fight them.

The baby was still crying and guilt washed over Sakura in thick and heavy waves. Everyone had always said that'd she'd make an excellent mother, but lately she could barely find the will to dry her own tears, much less her baby's.

There was a small but exuberant part of her that occasionally wished that she'd never had her daughter to begin with. But those thoughts only ended up making her feel worse.

"Please stop crying," she said through gritted teeth, voice hoarse from a dry throat.

Her wails only grew louder.

"Are you all right?"

The voice, though it was soft, made Sakura jump. Naruto walked up to her. He had taken off the head covering, allowing strands of his hair to fall about his face. He looked familiar, less imperial, and Sakura found herself finding comfort in this.

She sniffed. "She won't…hush up."

Naruto smiled and then gently pried the baby from her grip.

"She cries all the time," Sakura continued, sagging against the wall.

Naruto cradled the child with one arm. He tilted his head and gazed down at her. "Isn't that what babies are supposed to do? Cry, shit, and eat? All at the same time?"

Sakura laughed and shook her head. "It's just; I thought it would be easier. What if I don't get any better at this? What if I end up being a terrible mother? I don't think—" Fresh tears fell from her viridian eyes.

A warm hand cupped her face and a thumb swiped away her tears.

"You're going to be a great mom. Hell, you already are one."

Sakura managed to smile. "Baka! You shouldn't curse around the baby."

Naruto returned her smile and quickly handed the infant back over to her. The baby was sleeping, face peaceful.

"How'd you do that?" Sakura gasped, viridian eyes bulging.

Naruto grinned, his cerulean orbs beaming. "Perks of being Hokage or it must be the magic hands. Babies like to be warm, I guess."

Suddenly they heard footsteps and moments later and Sakura's husband walked up to them. "Everything all right?" he asked, looking cheerful. He noticed the sleeping infant. "Hey, you calmed her down!"

Both Sakura and Naruto rapidly gestured for him to keep his voice low and he immediately looked sheepish.

"Sorry," he whispered. He walked right up to Sakura and peered at the child from over her shoulder.

"See, Naruto? This is what I was talking about. You have something amazing to look forward to."

Sakura wasn't sure if the smile the Rokudaime gave her husband was real or fake.

"I guess I do."

Later that night, they'd all been dragged out dancing at one of the most famous bars in Konoha by a very eager Tsunade. Sakura protested that she stay and care for the baby, a failed attempt at shooing her husband to go—but instead insisted she go out instead, and reconcile with her friends.

The dancing had already begun. The pink-haired had looked hopefully over at one of her friends who had taken one look at the dancers, swept himself to one knee, and asked a girl (in the most over dramatic way possible- Sakura was beginning to suspect that Lee was a closet romantic) if she would honour him with a dance. Giggling, the girl had put her hand in his and allowed herself to be swept off her feet. Heck, even Naruto and her other Konohoan friends were already enjoying themselves.

She sighed, hastily, and headed over to the refreshments.

Sakura had been about to go after her when a hand had shot out to hers and pulled her to their chest, ignoring her half sputtered protests about the refreshments table.

"This is fun, huh?" blue eyes grinned at her as Naruto spun her. Sakura shrugged, feeling out of place, yet familiar within the warmth of his hold.

"I mean, we're finally able to spend time with everyone, you know."

"Yeah."

Sakura murmured, as she recalled the same words being mentioned a while back.

Through the room, she managed to see two figures, one in yellow and the other in green, pressed close together and dancing to the rhythm. The drum started up again, and this time, Sakura realized it was the sound of her own heart, slamming against her ribcage. The yellow figure pulled back just a little from the green figure (they were too far away; she couldn't make out any features) and leaned forward.

Sakura whipped her head around so fast she could almost hear her neck protesting. Trembling all over, she dug her fingers into the cloth of Naruto's vest, her eyes wide. The same cold lump from earlier grew and expanded in her stomach, making her whole body feel cold and barren. She felt she was heading into dangerous territory.

"It's great to see them all again." Naruto jabbered on, either not noticing her anxiety or ignoring it well. But there was an edge to his voice, she couldn't quite pin-point.

"Sakura-chan, you've gotten a bit prettier since the last time we saw each other."

Sakura's breath got stuck in her throat.

"Naruto," She breathed. "Let's...let's stop for a second."

Naruto froze mid step, looking up at her with wide, pleading eyes as he feared he might've said something.

"Huh? Why?" His grip on her hands tightened. "Aren't you having fun?"

"Yes." She breathed, and winced at how willing she sounded. So what was wrong with that?

"Yes I...I am. I just..." Her mind went blank. "I'm just..."

_Married…with child_

"Oh, sorry." Naruto grinned at her. "I didn't realize we'd been dancing so fast. You just came back after all. You must be thirsty. I'll go get us a drink." He led her away from the dancers. Sakura, too relieved to protest, merely smiled and nodded, and he scurried off to get refreshments.

Sakura leaned back against the wall. Pressing a hand to her thundering chest, she gulped in several deep breaths of air, trying to calm her racing heart. Something hot and searing stung at her closed lids, but she screwed them up tighter. The image of the figures' passionate embrace danced in front of her closed eyes, and the stinging sensation grew stronger, focusing on the corners of her eyes. She reached up to press one forearm against her searing eyes, the cool silk slipping over her skin.

_I'm going insane._

"Having fun yet?"

Sakura jumped, yelping slightly as Naruto came back to a stop, leaning on the wall next to her, stone cup with a red-orangey liquid in it in his hands. He watched her, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth, merry eyes boring straight into her. Suddenly, he scrunched his eyes, bent his head forward and peered closely at her face, still not saying anything. She hurriedly took a step back, her eyebrows shooting up. He smiled roguishly at her, but his playful tone and boyish charms were undermined by the heat in his eyes as he took her in. Sakura shuddered, and tried very hard to hide it.

"Kami, Naruto!" She pushed a hand against her chest again. He looked at it, no innocent light in his eyes. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry." He kept grinning for some reason. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"Then make some noise when you walk up to a person, baka." She scolded, looking away from him, as his satisfied grin broke out larger on his face. There was a flash in her mind, and the couple dancing imbedded itself. Sakura but her lower lip and looked to the ground. She could feel his eyes one her, and the swishing sound of liquid being moved around altered her to his movement. He stopped, right in front of her, and held out the cup.

"Thirsty, right?" He offered.

It seemed so very hard to say, especially with him leaning over her like that. Something flashed in his cerulean eyes, but she kept looking away.

Naruto pushed the cup towards her, "Just take a quick zip. You look ready to collapse."

"Really?" Her tone was far too happy, but she couldn't find it within herself to be upset. Naruto smiled at her smile, clearly enjoying her sudden shift of mood.

"Really." He tilted his head. "Why are you so happy all of a sudden?"

Cold realization spread through her, and she hurried to curb her unexplainable enthusiasm.

"I'm just...I 'm really liking this bar," She said lamely.

"It's nice, isn't it?" Naruto smirked, and gave her the 'I-can-tell-you're-lyyyyyiiiing' grin, and Sakura felt her cheeks heat up.

"Yeah. Really pretty."

"Then, you should come back."

She froze.

Eyes widened and she feared if she were to look at him, she might break off into a run.

"Both of us?" It seemed important to get this point across.

That if she were to come back to Konoha and her husband and her baby…

Naruto froze for a moment, but nodded stiffly.

"If you want."

Sakura smiled up at him.

"Thanks Naruto." She eyed the cup. "I am a little thirsty..."

Grinning as though she had told him he was to be worshipped like a god, Naruto pushed the cup towards her. A fruity, sweet scent invaded her nose, and she paused, sniffing.

"What did you say this was again?"

"Straw-peach punch." There was something in his tone, something under the light banter and gentleness. Something dark and intriguing and searing and passionate, that Sakura wasn't sure she should acknowledge.

"Oh." Sakura inhaled deeply, bewitched by the pleasant odor of the liquid, and reached for the cup.

Sakura jumped back, viridian looking into those blazing blue eyes.

" Naruto..." She whispered, her face heating up and her green eyes glistening as she took in the tenseness of his body. He followed her, the strands of his hair curtaining his eyes but the cerulean hue glowing beneath them. The hot thing coiled in her stomach again, and suddenly, she was sixteen in the Land of Iron, with Naruto before her and frowning at her with utmost confusion and disbelief all at once.

"…_Love…you…"_

"One sip can't hurt, Sakura." He purred her name. He said her name in reverence, and distantly, through the haze the feel of his heated body always put her in, she wondered what she had done to warrant such devotion.

"Yes." She whispered. "Yes it can."

" Sakura..." He reached forward with one hand, gently touching her cheek. She leaned into the touch for half a second, and then pulled back barely an inch, her shoulders shaking

" I...we can't." She looked at the cup. The straw-peach punch churned innocently in its depths. " I...We...no..."

" Yes," he breathed, surging forward, his gaze fix on her face, " we can."

He dipped low.

" Naruto..." Sakura whispered, and even she didn't know if it was a plea of protest of not.

" Sakura..." He mimicked, but there was a kind of wild, reckless joy and daring in his tone that stopped her dead.

"I have to go back."

And she broke away from him, head down, darting quickly off into the crowd. Her head pounding, her heart racing, and her mind full of confusion, Sakura melted into the sea of dancers, biting her lip to keep from crying. She headed straight for the path outside at the opposite end of the village, not even noticing the pair of blue eyes that followed her, one in hopeless longing.

She would just keep running.

* * *

_Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart_

_And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore_

* * *

Naruto had a grandchild first.

All of them were gathered near the monument for a big family reunion. Sakura was forty-four.

Naruto's daughter had gone into labor at the hospital a few weeks before she was due, and Sakura, Ino, helped deliver the baby.

After the birth, Sakura walked out onto the clearing where everyone was waiting.

Naruto's son-in-law was instantly in her face. "How is she? Is she okay? How's the baby? Is it a boy? A girl? Are they—"

Sakura held up a hand in order to shut him up. "Mother and daughter are fine."

The son-in-law broke out into a grin. "Daughter?"

Sakura nodded and the young man jumped up and down in excitement.

Kakashi let out a low chuckle from a few feet away. "Prepare yourself."

Everyone in the group laughed, but no one harder than Naruto.

Sakura stepped up next to Naruto and playfully bumped her hip against his. "Well, you finished first in the grandchild department."

He smiled and ducked his head, holding to the thought if she were to bring her fist on his head it never came

"I suppose I did."

"Don't be modest! You were egging them on the entire time."

Naruto blinked at her innocently and then gave her a full on grin. They both laughed.

"I would've been first if someone had decided to get herself in gear." Sakura turned her head and threw her words to her daughter, who was sitting on the sand next to her own husband a few yards away.

She rolled her eyes and gave her mother a very inappropriate gesture with one of her fingers.

"I'm glad you came back, Sakura-chan."

She stole a glance at him, and finally turned to him to see him with a bright smile on his aging features. She matched a similar expression on hers.

"I'll always come back to you, Naruto."

She heard his breath hitch and she watched as he stilled. She realized she could no longer go past pondering the what-ifs, what should-haves, what could-have been. They stopped a long time ago.

* * *

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something_

* * *

Sakura lost her spouse first.

Sakura had found that she no longer had any tears left to shed.

But Sakura didn't see how she could wash her own sadness away. Her husband, the father of her children, and one of her friends was gone. Her chest squeezed and she wrapped an arm around her torso.

Then Naruto was there, standing next to her but not touching her. He was companionship, something solid to lean on when all else had faded away.

She turned and threw her arms around his next and held him close. Her face was against his neck and she murmured things into his ear, things that were to mournful to ever be repeated.

He wrapped his arms around her and let her speak. He held her upright long after her knees buckled.

Soon she realized he was also holding her together.

* * *

No one remembered who said _I love you_ first.

But, if Sakura had to say it or write it out, she would bet that she was the one who said it first.

_Again_

She had been a widow for fifteen years, he a widower for eight, when Naruto got the letter.

The ink was smudged and the handwriting was fairly poor, as if Sakura had scribbled out the message and sent it before the ink could even dry so that she couldn't second guess herself.

Naruto had placed the letter off to the side before folding his wrinkled hands over his lap. He had plenty of other things to worry about—the inauguration of the new Hokage—but perhaps those things could wait for just a little while. He was, after all, representing as Daimyo of this country.

He remembered being sixteen, his eyes evoking painful memories.

"_I hate people who lie to themselves!" _

"_Are you…saying…I'm lying to myself?_ _If you don't like me, then just say so! If you're gonna make up excuses-"_

_It's just weird! You came all this way just to tell me something like that?!_

"…_Something like that…"_

He should have just stopped. He should have gone back with her. But…what excuse did he have now compared to the feelings he had back then?

He understood that she knew it now.

Freedom, Sakura knew, was a precious gift.

With Naruto, she wouldn't have run away from Konoha. She would have stayed. They would have made up that time.

* * *

Naruto looked worried.

The icy wind was howling outside, so the retired Hokage had started a fire. There was a nice, orangey glow being cast against the walls of the house.

He had said _I love you, too_ in his own letter. She just hadn't had the courage to send it until three months ago, until after her daughter had left.

They sat next to each other, hands clasped. He rolled his thumb over her knuckles.

Sometimes she could look at him and see the teenage boy who had taken a kunai for her. She wondered why she hadn't been able to see it all those years ago.

At twelve, at sixteen, and at nineteen.

He had loved her enough to die for her, even all the way back then.

She knew that they probably wouldn't get married. She was old and she could feel death creeping into her bones.

She wasn't sure how much time she had left in the ninja world, but she figured being in Naruto's company was enough to make her end days as happy as they could be.

"You look scared," she pointed out, gently bumping his shoulder against hers.

He wiped away the frown and replaced it with a smile that hadn't exactly reached his eyes, and she smiled because his frown had not changed in eighty-seven years.

"When we are in the afterlife, I just wonder, whose hand you will decide to hold?"

_Him or me?_

Sakura brought Naruto's gloved hand to her mouth and kissed it. His eyes softened and there it was, that twinkle. She let go of one hand and patted his whiskered cheek affectionately. "It's a good thing then, Naruto, that I have two hands."

He gave her a very small smile. But it was real.

Sakura leaned her head against his shoulder and allowed her eyes to drift shut.

For this life she had chosen freedom over life. In the next one she was determined to choose life over freedom.

* * *

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

* * *

A/N: Well there…I unleashed my wrath thanks to episodes 205-06 & 278. Oh dear. I'm holding for hope even though this might not actually happen. For the record, this is my first NaruSaku plot bunny, and I didn't like the fact I missed all this time to come up with it now. It would be totally awesome if Kishi really outdid some romantic undertones, hehe.

Anyways, thanks for reading!

Hope you enjoyed & please lend us your NaruSaku thoughts(:


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